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IHaveNoIdea8

I Have An Idea Now
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I've been thinking of getting a tattoo lately. I've been playing around with designs and I like this one.

Possible Tattoo (No Lines) by IHaveNoIdea8   Possible Tattoo by IHaveNoIdea8
I need help deciding if I should get it with or without the black lines though, I'm not sure which looks better. (I'm leaning towards getting it without lines though)

It's the symbol for recovery from 
eating disorders and self-harm/depression, which I've been struggling with a lot lately, but I added some details and colors to it. While I've never actually caused any physical self harm to myself (by cutting), my constant negative thoughts about myself are definitely harmful, and hinder any attempt I make at trying to connect with a person because I'm afraid they'll reject me in the end, which only leads to them rejecting me anyway because I can't open up to them.
The more often this happens, the worse it gets, and the more I'm convinced there's something wrong with me.

Depression and anxiety are a big problem in my life, especially over the past few months, and that will occasionally lead to me either binge eating or starving myself (which also counts as self harm, I think), and always leads to convincing myself that there's something wrong with me and that I'm unloveable - that I'll end up dying alone because I'm not confident enough to share the more intimate parts of myself with someone I can build a meaningful relationship with. I've come to hate the parts of myself that make me, me. I keep thinking if I were only more confident, less introverted, skinnier/more attractive, etc, life would be better and maybe people would have an easier time accepting me or getting to know me for who I am rather than my insecurities.

I want to get a tattoo like this to remind me to love and accept myself, and that I don't need other people's acceptance to feel good about myself. I'll likely just get a small one on my wrist, so I can easily look at it whenever I feel beaten down, to remind myself that the feelings are only temporary and things will get better, and that my insecurities and depression don't make me who I am. I can beat them.


Journal by : TaNa-Jo
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Help?

2 min read


I really need an idea for a short story! It's due in two days and nothing's coming to me, and the ideas I do have would be too long to put into a short story.
Any suggestions would be so appreciated! :3

If anyone reading this has written short stories for classes, do you have any tricks or anything for coming up with ideas or getting motivated enough to work on it? I'm no good at short stories since I tend to like expanding on ideas and developing characters more. It's a miracle I had something finished for last week.

Journal by : TaNa-Jo
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So it's been a while, but I thought I'd make a journal entry since I was pretty stressed out the last time I made one. xD

It's been a month since I moved into my apartment, and things are going well so far. :3 
School started yesterday, the classes have all been pretty short so far, since we were mostly just doing introductions and stuff.

Once I start getting more homework, I won't have a lot of time to work on NWiS, but I am taking a fiction class that involves a lot of writing. In all likelihood, I'll probably end up uploading some of that original stuff here after assignments have been submitted. I might even wait until the end of the course just in case the instructor randomly comes across my deviantart and thinks I'm plagiarizing. xD

But since I don't have any homework yet, and NWiS turns 5 on the 13th, I'm trying to update NWiS that day. After that update, I'll go back to editing the old chapters for a while until I can feel comfortable that they're on at least a similar level of writing as my newer stuff.

Journal by : TaNa-Jo
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I hope I never have to move again in a very long time. I reserved a truck from uhaul over two weeks ago to be picked up in town, and they just sent me an email today stating that a truck, in the wrong size, would be available to pick up 2 hours out of town.
Less than 24 hours before I had to pick it up.

So my dad and I had to scramble to figure out what the hell to do, because we need a uhaul, but we aren't about to leave the vehicle two hours away from town for obvious reasons. 
I tried calling the number they left on the email and never got an answer no matter how many times I called, so ended up calling the company to complain. The guy on the phone offered no solution to the problem, except to extend the pick-up time from 9AM, which we wouldn't be able to get there for, to 4PM.

So we ended up heading down to the bus depot to buy two tickets for us to get down there, but the guy on the phone sounded like there was a chance the truck might not even be there anymore whenever we finally got there (since it's a long weekend and there's a chance we would be late).
We got the tickets anyway since we basically had no choice (and made sure to let the guy on the phone know how stupid it is for the company to let someone who made a reservation for a certain location know that they would have to make a 2 hour drive less than 24 hours ahead of time, especially if they couldn't even get us the truck we asked for).


But the best part, is that after I bought the bus tickets, the guy from in town called and told us he DID have a truck (in the RIGHT size) for us after all that would be available for us whenever we wanted to pick it up. Thankfully, I made sure to get the bus tickets refundable.

My dad told me I should keep the bus tickets and original reservation just in case the one in town doesn't work out (here's hoping it does), and wait until we have the truck to cancel the first one and get the refund.

And then refuse to pay whatever cancellation fee the company tries to charge me. As if it's my fault they have no idea where their trucks are, and they don't give people a decent amount of time to make plans when they're forced to make a trip out of town. -__-

Sorry for dumping it all here, just needed to rant it out.

TL;DR: Moving sucks. I officially hate UHaul.

Journal by : TaNa-Jo
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There's just about two weeks left until I move away from my hometown to a city ten hours away. It'll be my first time living outside of Revelstoke and away from any family, and I'm a mix of nerves and excitement right now. As excited as I am, everything that's been happening has caused my anxiety levels to spike (I've been to the doctor twice in the past week because I seriously thought something was wrong with me), so I'm eager to just get the move over with so I can drop all the random, annoying thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong.  
That, and I'll be really relieved to not have to serve people coffee anymore. I like the people I work with and the job overall, but I think the change will be nice and hopefully help my stress...until school starts. xD It's too bad the whole section of my mind that remembers who takes a spoon with their coffee and who doesn't (among other stupid things) will be absolutely useless where I'm going. xD

Anyway, between packing, arranging for transport, electricity, etc. I've had no time to really do any writing or anything else. On the plus side, once I'm actually down in Victoria, I plan on taking the rest of August to get to know the area and relax after the stressful month that is July and everything before school starts/I start looking for a part time job. So for the majority of August, I'll finally have some time to catch up on some writing and everything before my brain explodes from all the accumulated ideas. xD  But for now I will continue watching FMA: B (the Royai feels!) while I pack. :P

I might upload a couple drawings before August, since I've been getting sick of just packing and organizing, but my brain's too scattered right now to do any decent writing. xD Just though't I'd update so no one thought I was dead. xD

Journal by : TaNa-Jo
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